HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH DEATH
a blog of resources

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What’s the connection between sex and death from the perspective of a pleasure educator? 

Well, I believe you can’t talk about sex without talking about death.

They’re entwined. Pleasure keeps us alive and truly living. You can’t have life and living, without having death, decay, loss. We are not infinite, we live in cycles of change and decay.

Sex and pleasure are also tools to be in our bodies. They remind us that we have bodies, that we exist in space and time. They remind us that we’re viscerally, physically, and very much mortally here. Pleasure is an acute experience.

In a world that is so deathphobic and grief illiterate/avoidant it makes sense we have distanced ourselves from feeling the slow or rapid deterioration of our bodies, others’ and this planet. From our own mortality, and in essence life itself. As the Bhutanese say, “to be a truly happy person, one must contemplate death five times daily”.

So in the spirit of reconciling this inextricable experiences, here’s a list of resources gathered and suggested by many of you, alongside me. This is an actively updated list! Please email me any resources, especially decolonising perspectives or rituals you think should feature: euphemia@iwishyouknew.net.

I hope these resources are supportive as you explore and heal your edges of death, grief, and loss.

PRACTICES AND RITUALS: 
All of these rituals are suggestions by me, but I welcome you to add.

  • Write your own obituary, host your own funeral party,

  • Acknowledging the natural cycles: seasons, lunar cycles, your own bodies. 

  • Observing the arising and fading by caring for the living: gardens, plants, animals, other humans.

  • Visiting cemeteries

  • Creating closure and final moments in stages and chapters of life - thank you and goodbye.

BOOKS: 

VIDEOS/FILMS: 


PODCASTS: 

WEBSITES:

PLACES TO VISIT: 

This is an actively updated list! Please email me any resources, especially decolonising perspectives you think should feature: euphemia@iwishyouknew.net.