Pleasure is health, not a frivolous distraction or something we supposedly don't deserve. Pleasure is political. Pleasure is resistance. Pleasure is regenerative. Pleasure is beyond genitals and orgasms.

It’s being regulated and fully in your body. To be embodied.

Shame, fear, worry, and stress all dissociate and disembody us, and dull our ability to feel sensation or be aware of our senses. So often we forget we even live in a body. We need to be taught tools, and be reminded that embodiment is a practice to be cultivated. 

When we’re embodied, we’re more connected to our sense of what we want and need, our boundaries. We begin to feel the subtlties and nuances. We’re more aware of the external world, and our relationship to others, our surroundings, and this earth. We are in sensual pleasure. 

Similarly, sex and communication are social skills. They need to be developed with tools and resources. It’s cultivating pleasure and learning tools to ask yourself and articulate what you want, need, and desire. 

It’s developing a sense of agency and a full sense of autonomy, and boundaries. Prioritising your pleasure develops a sense of body autonomy: “this body is mine, no one else’s”. It’s about claiming your pleasure in a world that is not supportive of this.

Want to read more about this? Check out the ‘Anticipation Is Half of Seduction’ essay.